


what's left behind

by aurorean



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Kerberos Mission, Pre-Season/Series 07, Shadam, adashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 02:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15571710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurorean/pseuds/aurorean
Summary: Belatedly, he feels guilty for being angry at a dead man. The guilt is quickly replaced by despair as he realizes: Shiro isn't coming back. He's not going to walk through the door of their apartment tonight. Adam would never see his smile ever again.(or; adam and keith find out shiro is dead through the news reports.)





	what's left behind

**Author's Note:**

> s7 is giving me anxiety. this is how i cope. 
> 
> (i swear to fuck if i don't see adashi/shadam reuniting on my phone screen on friday at 3 in the morning i'm gonna lose it)

The first emotion Adam feels is disbelief, directed at the news report on the TV in his quiet office. He freezes in his place in his desk chair, his hands starting to shake. A cold wave of nausea washes over him. His hearing fades until he can only hear the faintest of words coming from the screen in front of him:

_“Kerberos mission failure...pilot error...Takashi Shirogane...deceased...dead...no survivors…”_

The second emotion he feels is numbness. It spreads throughout his body, allowing him to process the shock without the pain of emotions. He's hardly breathing. His breaths are so shallow that he starts feeling lightheaded, his lungs shrinking to the size of half-filled water balloons. The newscaster continues to drone on about the catastrophe. Her voice is smooth and even, like she's simply discussing the weather. The nausea makes a return in Adam’s stomach.

Adam stands up abruptly, fumbling with the TV remote as he tries and fails to shut off the report while the newscaster is still speaking. His head is spinning, the urge to vomit extremely present in the back of his throat. The remote refuses to work and Adam gives up, the edge of frustration barely piercing the numbness overtaking his body. Bit by bit, pain is shoving its way into his body, forcing him to acknowledge it and it _hurts._

At this point the entirety of his body is trembling, and with shaky knees, Adam stumbles away from his desk and over to the armchair in the corner of his office. He sinks into the cushioned seat, his hands gripping the arms so tight his knuckles have lost all color. 

One year. He'd be back in one year, Takashi had promised him. Adam had tried to stop him. He had tried so hard. He'd had a bad feeling about the mission since Sam Holt had given the suggestion to explore Kerberos in the first place. _I_ told _you, Shiro._

Belatedly, he feels guilty for being angry at a dead man. The guilt is quickly replaced by despair as he realizes: Shiro isn't coming back. He's not going to walk through the door of their apartment tonight. Adam would never see his smile ever again. 

It hits him all at once. The weight of it all presses down, hard, on Adam’s chest. He chokes on a sob, and then another, and then he’s wailing into his hands, his vision becoming fogged and blurred by his tear-streaked glasses. He throws them off and they bounce against the TV screen, which is still flashing pictures of Adam’s dead ex-fiancé. Shiro is dead. _Takashi_ is dead. 

It takes a while for the tears to run out, leaving Adam with his head pounding and lungs heaving for breath. He slumps back against the chair, worn out. He doesn't know what to do. What could he do? The love of his life is dead. Anger bubbles up in Adam’s chest; raw, feral anger towards Takashi. How could he leave him? How could he have left his fiancé, alone, to mourn on Earth? He had left his _family._ He had left Adam with the promise of marriage and he had left Keith with the promise of adoption. And now he was gone. 

_Keith._

Adam bolts upright, scrubbing furiously at his eyes to clear them. Keith must know. Keith was somewhere in the Garrison, crying because his brother is dead. Adam needed to go to him. 

_Shit._

Adam fumbles for his coat and keys, his vision darkening around the edges when he stands up too fast. He curses as his coat sleeve gets caught on the hanger, yanking at it with wild abandon. He tugs a bit too hard and the fabric slips between his fingers and he falls. His shoulder lands heavily on the ground, sending lightning bolts of pain through his arm. Tears spring up in his eyes for the second time, but he has no time to break down on the floor. He has to get to Keith. 

Adam forgets the jacket and runs to the door, flinging it open and startling the people in the hallway. He realizes too late how wrecked he must look; his eyes, puffy and red, his hair, messy, and his plain white t-shirt, untucked. He feels weirdly naked without his officer uniform jacket on. None of that mattered, however. He needed to find Keith.

Before he can even start down the hallway, he hears pounding footsteps coming his way. His head jerks to the right, his eyes landing on a boy racing towards him. The boy is in his casual clothes, his orange uniform probably tucked away in his dresser, the school dress code long forgotten. A professor yells at him to stop running but his shouts only make him run faster. It’s Keith. 

Adam rushes to Keith, meeting him in the middle of the hallway. He opens his arms and Keith runs right into them, his stitled breaths harsh in his ear. Adam quickly walks them backwards into his office, away from the stares of the other cadets in the hallway.

As soon as they're safely behind the closed door, Keith lets out a choked sob, gripping Adam tighter as his tears soak into his shirt. They sink to the ground, and Adam holds Keith close, murmuring small comforts into his ear and rubbing his back. Adam feels himself getting choked up, tears threatening to emerge once again but he keeps them at bay. He needs to be there for Keith. 

Keith cries for a while, Adam comforting him the best he can. He's never seen Keith this upset. He could barely even talk about his emotions with Adam, let alone cry in front of him. The grief of it is overwhelming, and Adam finally breaks. Tears fall down his cheeks, landing in Keith's hair. He starts trembling again, digging his fingers into Keith’s back and scalp to try and steady himself. Keith pulls back from their embrace, gazing up at Adam with sparkling eyes.

“Shiro...” His voice is sharp and raspy from his sobs. Adam looks down at him, waiting.

Keith pulls Adam back in, burying his face in his shoulder. Adam wraps his arms around him again, taking deep, shuddering breaths. 

“He's gone.” It's muffled, but Adam still hears Keith speak. “He's gone. He promised he’d come back.”

“I know.” The words come out as barely a whisper. “It's okay. You can cry. It's okay.” 

Keith whimpers and Adam feels the tears start falling again. Adam’s eyes start to overflow too. He’d said that to Keith the day Shiro had left. Keith had been angry at Adam for a long time for breaking up with Shiro. He had accused Adam of not supporting Shiro’s dream, yelling about how you don't do that to someone you love. Adam had taken Keith into his arms then, and whispered those words to him. Keith had immediately shattered and broke down sobbing in Adam’s arms. He'd spent years with Keith, guiding and mentoring him when Shiro couldn't. Adam had refused to let Keith go just because he and Shiro ended things. They both needed someone to help them through his absence. They needed each other.

“Adam?” Keith’s sobs have quieted, but his face is still hidden in Adam’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, kiddo?” Adam strokes Keith’s hair, hoping to keep him calm.

“You can cry too,” Keith whispers. 

Adam smiles a watery smile, tightening his hold around Keith. “Thanks, kiddo.” 

Only a few more tears slip from Adam’s eyes. He's exhausted. Keith seems to be too, based on the way he’s slumped against Adam’s chest. A pang of sadness wracks Adam’s body, making him shudder. He won't let Keith be alone tonight. 

“Come to the apartment with me tonight. I'll tell Iverson you're with me,” Adam says. 

“Yeah.” Keith replies. “Yeah, okay.” 

_Keith gets expelled two months later for assaulting a professor. Adam gets the news too late, and by the time he reaches Iverson’s office Keith is already gone. Adam had screamed at Iverson for letting Keith go even though Iverson knew Keith was an orphan. Iverson had simply sneered and threatened to fire Adam if he didn't stand down._

_He stood down._

_Adam watched the desert every night from his bedroom, scanning the ground for signs of Keith and scanning the sky for signs of Shiro. He went to bed every night disappointed._

_On the night Shiro came home, he’d never seen a meteor as bright as that one._

_He saw Keith. He saw Shiro. He ran._

_He was too late._


End file.
